Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Layer Upon Layer..

I love my world…Gerushia’s New World. A world of color and goodness and hope. But as many of you know, before I decided to move here, I lived in the world of Garden Painter Art. During that period, my world became black and uneven. Sickness and death were all around. The costs that my family acquired due to my mom’s sickness and death caused us to fall into a whirlwind of financial woes. Depression and guilt and self-doubt took over in my Garden Painter World. I became useless and fell into “The Great Depression of 2008.” Because of my “Great Depression”, I became a terrible burden on my friends. So much so, that I had to “break up with them”. I broke up with all of my local, in real life, friends. My burdens leaked onto them and I had nothing positive to contribute to a friendship, so I simply faded away…..

Now, in my new world, as time has passed, I have had the opportunity to look back. I can see the little gems of importance that my friends left behind. Each friend that crossed my path gave me gifts. Gifts that will be mine forever. I suppose this blog entry is a small tribute to my old friends. Three friends, to be exact ~ and although they are no longer in my life, they will always be a part of my life. Another layer of the collage that isn’t yet finished.

So ~

Theresa taught me compassion and how NOT to take myself too seriously. She is a woman with a caring heart and fabulous sense of humor. She is balanced and keeps things in perspective. She is driven but not to the point of self-indulgence. There are pieces of Theresa all through me, and sometimes I miss her terribly. But, I will always have these gifts, these strengths that she shared by example ~ probably unknowingly.

Deborah taught me perseverance and loyalty. I have never met a woman, a person, with so much heartfelt tenacity. She does not give up on anyone or anything. She gets in the boat with you and weathers the storm by your side. She is brave and strong in adverse circumstances. And, I might add, she has a fabulous eye for color!

"J" taught me patience and generosity. This woman has the patience of a saint. I watched her in awe for many years and have never known another woman who could “wait” like "J". Her generosity has brought me to tears countless times, and even now, I’m still a bit wistful. Let me give you an example: During my “dark times” I had to sell many of my treasures on eBay. One of those treasures was my high school ring. "J" saw the ring listed on eBay and purchased it. I didn’t know this until a few days ago. She bought the ring under a friend’s account so that I wouldn’t know it was her. She put the ring back for several years. Knowing that my daughter is educated at home, she kept the ring to give to my daughter when her daughter ordered her class ring. Of course, during this time, I broke up with her. She still held the ring and sent her daughter over with it a few days ago to give to my daughter. Again….her generosity amazes me.

Layer upon layer of these strong and passionate women are in my soul. I am not complete and, most likely, I will never be complete. Not in this life anyway. But these friends from my past, my old life, have added pieces to the puzzle of Me. I hold tight to memories but go forward in my New World.

Until Next Time:
Gerushia’s New World


Carol Anne Strange said...

A heartfelt post, Kim, and a beautiful tribute to angels you've met along the way. Go forward into the new world and I hope that it is filled with magical moments for you and your loved ones. Love & bright wishes. xx

La Dolce Vita said...

great post! yes, we complete phases, but we can never be complete, only evolving! xo

Momo Luna said...

Thank you for this open, brave and strong post. I'm glad you're now happy with your new world. Enjoy this new path full of hope and take care!

sweet greetz, Momo Luna

BLUEYEDUCKstudios said...

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

You are loved with an everlasting love Kimmy

Marie said...

Beautiful post Kim. We have a hymn that we sing in our church called Each Life that Touches.

Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

Friends may come and go through the years, but all of those we have been able to call friend leave a lasting imprint on our hearts. You have left a beautiful one on mine. I love you to pieces. Would you like my new address? I would love to stay in touch with you after I move. xxoo

Joyce said...

I love your new world too. Your work is gorgeous. Surrounding yourself with kindred spirits is the only way to get through the crazy days. I find that sometimes people who have been in your life a long time drift away and never really get to know the "real" you. It's so comforting to find wonderfully gifted and talented artists in blogland who understand how you feel. Too bad your friends didn't take care of the gift of your friendship, and have lost something truly special from their lives.

Amy. said...

Only bright and color-filled days ahead!! That is my wish for you.

Kathy said...

Oh Kim~
I wish I was near you, to give you the biggest hug. I see a bit of myself in that post, maybe we are to do that? I can tell, these three friends are very much embedded in your heart. I hope that someday, you will be able to thank them for the gifts, but if it is not meant to be....you did that here. Thank you for the lesson, and now I will dry my eyes....lol. Much happiness to you, in you're new world.