Sunday, December 13, 2009

A Very Good Tired

I wonder if you know how long it's been since I've felt a "good tired"? Not tired from worry or laundry or bill paying, but tired from accomplishment.

This week has been a sort of turning point for me. I've managed to finish a three piece custom order AND finish and list 5 new pieces for my Etsy Shop.

Last year, at this time, my mom was in a Board and Care and on her way out of this sometimes broken world. I was her advocate, her guardian, her mom and her daughter. Art?....I don't think so.

After she passed away, my nights were filled with odd and other-worldly nightmares. I questioned my choice of care for her and wondered if I had done all that could be done. I lived in a hazy sort of guilt for months. I still have nightmares (but I always have) and I still hope that I did all the best I could for her. But as time has passed, some of the cold and foggy guilt has lifted and I've been left with time to dilly-dally with my art.

Isn't it curious how guilt can steal away our freedom and cause us to question our choices? If left unattended, guilt can cause us to withdraw from our very lives.

So...for me, these 5 finished pieces truly are more than the simple watercolor brushstrokes. More than the cut and paste, more than the composition. They are a step out, a step up, a step in the right direction?

June's Guardian

Notes of June 5" x 7"

Sunday Drive With June

A Windy Day for June

Notes of June

Thank you so very much for having a look:
Gerushia's New World


June said...

Kim your art work is beautiful and so are your words tonight. I know a little of what you speak and I have been there for a time, I would not want to go back and yet I would not want to give up what was learned by it. I hope that there are only clear skies ahead for you now.
I love what you create!

Marie said...

Kim, I love all these new pieces, but I think my favourite is the Sunday Drive. I know how very difficult time you have had coping first with your mum's illness and then with her passing. You did the best that you know how to do and nobody could have asked for any more than that. I am sure your mum knew that as well and loved you for it, and still does. She is sure to be very proud of you and who you are and all that you do. ((((hugs)))) I think you're pretty amazing actually! xxoo

Manon Doyle said...

Your new pieces are lovely! I couldn't pick a favorite because I love them all.
My grandmother died a few years ago and my mom also wrestled with the same kind of guilt. I'm sure she knew that you loved her. I'm glad your fog has lifted!!
Glad to have found your blog!! Your work is amazing!!


Diane Duda said...

I am so happy to read these words from you and to see these lovely new pieces. A "good tired" is a very good thing. :)


Carol Anne Strange said...

So many experiences and emotions colour our landscape, Kim. A good tiredness brought on by accomplishment is a wonderful sensation. Let go of any thoughts that hold you back and enjoy the creative journey. I'm sure your loved ones - whether they are here or there - will want this for you more than anything. Love love. x

La Dolce Vita said...

what a thoughtful and touching post. your art is awesome and loved your work in Pasticcio... caterina

Courtney Price said...

Just saw you over on Feathered Nest and had to have a look... LOVE it ALL!

Andy's Attic said...

Just found your blog and your art work is wonderful. Your art shows love and delicacy and an awareness of what is around you. I am sure you used these to care for your mother and she knew this about you and no guilt should be felt. Glad you had a "good tired".

Pocket Full of Prettys said...

I have admired your work for years. Your new pieces are lovely as always. And a "good tired" is a good thing. Renea